Dog Poet Transmitting.......
Woof!
As some of you may know I am a sports fan. That means I watch the football season. I watch the basketball playoffs and I watch the baseball playoffs. There are no hard and fast absolutes about any of it. I turned in last night when game 3 of the World Series went into the 14th inning. I can take or leave it. At the moment it remains as one of my singular pedestrian amusements. I watch movies but... far more seldom than was once the case.
While watching sports or doing anything, seldom do a few minutes go by these days when my thoughts do not raise my head upwards, as I celebrate or resonate with the indwelling God, who is the centerpiece of my life. The raising of the head is symbolic; God in Heaven. The divine is within but it is similar to kneeling in prayer or raising ones hands to the heavens; when who and what you are seeking to communicate with is within you. The entire external world is a projection of the mind. You may think you see outwardly but all you see is seen within. Get the internal world in resonance with the director of the external world (the true director) and the external world will be as you truly are within, or drab; confused, dull, frightening, desolate, empty, etc... as you are.
I find it near inexplicable what I am today, by comparison with what I was (or thought I was) a few weeks ago. On the day, or in the moment that my life changed, it was without fanfare or flashing lights. No symphony orchestra materialized. I did not walk down wide marble stairs, surrounded by angels and other luminous beings. My jeans and shirt did not morph into a flowing robe. It just happened the same way you might hit a light switch. It changed profoundly and fundamentally, as if it had always been that way. In a sense it had. The part of me that was always resident there, simply swallowed up the other parts that were adaptations I imagined I needed to get by, in this brier patch of thorns and creeping roots that snag you by the toes; this glue-board of attachments, false memory and perception. It all went away and left a feeling of enduring permanence that nothing can assail. There is no way to explain what took place except to say, 'there is no there, there'.
Somewhere in the deeper reaches of my heart and mind, “Let it Be” is playing. “I wake up to the sound of music” and prayer closes the day in a supine wonder, until sleep and dreams take me away. The dreams are like nothing that has come before. The days are like days I have not seen since I was much younger and walking through the empty deserts or the natural cathedrals of forests, before the world slot-cared me into its sham and endless confetti, flickering in the false light that adds a burnished and enchanted glow to neon and plastic... the sound of relentless emptiness echos through some kind of post apocalyptic Las Vegas, half buried in shifting sands.
I was angry and outraged. It was a true celebration of impotence and ignorance, conjoined in a Chinese water torture of a dissonant opera, where everyone dies but... not until they have suffered to the last jot and tittle. I drank an ocean and never left the shore. I became a human chemistry experiment; anything to blot out the dismal wreckage of mindless appetite that surrounded me on all sides. There was no sanctuary. They were all facsimiles of some fake Hollywood town. Every now and again I would eschew everything and live on the straight and narrow; sometimes for years but sooner or later the siren would call because I wasn't as smart as Ulysses.
Was it a couple of months ago? It was something like that. I found myself in a confined space; not sure of how I got there and toward evening of the second day I was laying on a bed and a presence came over me. It filled me and it asked me; “Do you know who I am?” Immediately I did know, though I do not remember ever experiencing this particular spiritual being before. I had sought him surely and read his words many times; prayed to him and certainly quoted him more than any other. For a passage of time- I don't know how long. It was under an hour I think but I don't know; I heard fantastic and wonderful things. He told me he had brought me to where I was in order to have this communication with me. It was easily as impactful as when Mr. Apocalypse visited me in Italy and I spent that time lying on a couch and banging my knee against that part you sit back on, punctuating the force of his words... again and again and again.
It was not so dramatic as that. It was certainly as powerful but more softly expressed. I was told wonderful things, fantastic things that I find difficult to believe. Then it ended and I got up and wandered about in thought for a good while. The next night it happened again and that was it, except for the change in me that I never really noticed until I really did notice. I had been told to simply continue in whatever I had been doing because it wouldn't matter. Somewhere between six months and a year he was going to come into my life and change it to suit whatever his purpose for me might be. Then it just happened all by itself and it wasn't the ineffable doing it because that was called to my attention and highly approved of. I was told I had spared myself all sorts of things in the transition that there is no point in pointing out now.
After that, nothing held anymore attraction for me- 'there was no there, there' so... I just stepped to the side and let everything that never was in the first place, continue on without me. No doubt there were new clients at a further reach, around the corner, somewhere. It ended with neither a bang nor a whimper. It just ended. These days I encounter the living evidence of all the things I had been saying as true here for years. The divine is the literal moment in every moment. It's early days. I forget a hundred times a day and am reminded a hundred and one times very quickly after.
I no longer care if anyone understands me, likes me, dislikes me, finds me strange or oddly familiar. All the pointless vanities and anxieties that are the fruit of a fabricated life, based on misplaced desire and... which I encounter every day, are the never ending examples of what I so recently was as caught up in (in my own way) as everyone else. I see it but I don't see it. I see the other souls that are not the facade they pretend to but which are the beautiful interior lights they cannot see but which accompany them everywhere they go. They are like those floating Chinese candle lanterns.
The sheer beauty of the ordinary that is no longer ordinary leaves me metaphorically and on occasion, literally breathless.
It's the same world I was in before this happened but it is not the same world at all... yet it is; “first there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is” It may be the same world but it is not the same me. I suppose I was like a mummy, in more ways than one. Someone grabbed a loose tail of fabric and pulled it and I unraveled until the mummy suit was gone; just in time for Halloween.
I'll close with an episode from this new life of mine, which is not new but only the aftermath of the chrysalis interlude. As a result of watching sporting events, I took a journey one day through the myriad of channels; not hardly being comprehensive at all and I landed on channel 29 and found Chris and Joanna from “Fixer Upper”. My first reaction was that I wasn't appreciative of Joanna (taking a false surface impression). I was later shamed by my uniformed judgment of her. She seemed hard to me. I got a Lucy Liu take on her ...and as I watched, I saw that she is a wonderful intelligent caring and creative woman and I watched the chemistry between her and her husband and I thought; “how many times have I been wrong like this; judging without understanding. What a fool I have been. It was a wake-up call but... every moment seems to be that these days. The thing is that you really can see God in everyone and everything, you just need the right set of eyes. Yes... there are many who seem lost and even depraved. You don't have to concern yourself with that. Nothing sets the stage for change in 'any' case like unconditional love. In a presently infinitesimal way I am beginning to understand what Jesus the Christ meant.
Watching what these two do as they transform houses for people, as the gifted artists they are has been a great experience for me. Sure it's materialism and maybe none of it is real but I will treasure what I learned about myself while watching them. Seeing the love they have for each other as they do what they do is impressive.
I then found Pawn Stars and occasionally I'll go there because it is like going to school; what I have learned about forgery and the real and surface value of things, the history behind them, as experts are called in to comment on the legacy and worth of all sorts of things has, on occasion blown me away. The individuals that own this pawn shop in Las Vegas are not attractive people by any stretch. That is unimportant to me. With new eyes and a true curiosity, I am educated and entertained about all sorts of features in humanity that I never saw before. Under no circumstances am I recommending watching television. I am trying in my cumbersome way to say something and it might come across and it might not. I'm not concerned either way. I guess I am trying to say that you can learn from anyone and everyone if you will just put away your preconceived notions and prejudices and let life speak to you.
I am looking forward to what I am convinced is on the way. At the same time I am not thinking about it much at all. It just taps me on the shoulder now and again and it makes me smile. It is a wonderful place, not to have a problem with anyone anymore. It is truly wonderful to rely on the interior light of the eternal divine, who for reasons unknown to me, took the trouble to wake me up and wash the confusion and anger and ignorance from my heart and from my eyes and to introduce me to a world that was always there and not the world I thought I was living in and to allow me to simply walk away from all the false impressions and bondage of shallow judgments that had made me a prisoner of my own shortcomings.
I could not be more grateful. There is nothing in this world or anywhere else that comes anywhere close to what the ineffable is and he lives his life within us and possesses treasures and priceless qualities which he is holding in escrow for us all, should we ever find ourselves inclined to stop foraging in a landfill and perpetually closing our eyes to the beauty of ourselves.
End Transmission.......